Alison in Wonderland
by Hermione Heterodyne
Summary: What would've happened if Alice was born in modern day. Involves a lot of socks and randomness. Please, please review.
1. Chapter 1: Socks and a Soccer Ball

Alison Lidle was playing soccer with herself.

Her mother had chased her out of doors saying it was a lovely day and she needed to get some exercise, so Alison dutifully went into the yard and began kicking a soccer ball up and down the lawn. She was growing bored.

"It's no fun playing soccer by yourself, of course," she remarked to the soccer ball, "but it's the middle of spring break and nobody else is home. Not that I have anyone else."

Angry with that last statement, Alison kicked the ball harder than she intended to, her sneaker flying off her foot and the ball zooming through the open gate.

"Argh! I hate this game. Why couldn't the ball be holographic or attached to a string or something so it wouldn't get lost?" Alison grumbled and ran after the ball.

The ball was proving to be very elusive, zigzagging, circling and speeding up suddenly. It finally stopped at a storm drain a few blocks away from Alison's house.

As she ran to get it, however, it decided to roll into the drain. Alison listened, but no thud or splash came.

"Must be a deep drain," she said to herself.

After a second of consideration, Alison pushed away all rational thoughts and jumped into the drain.

"AAAAAAAA Wait, I'm not falling, I'm floating in a slightly downward motion. This isn't so bad. Hey look, a pony!" Indeed, a pony floated past, followed by a bag of potato chips and a lacy pink bed. Other objects flew by too, each more random than the last. Alison rearranged her floating self to sit on the bed and found it relatively comfortable before continuing to float.

"I wonder how far down I am and how long I've been going," Alison mentioned to a passing book. Then, because she liked Math, she added, "I wonder what constant rate I'm traveling at." The passing book, which turned out to be a math textbook, flipped open to an answer sheet where the answer to the first problem was 100, the second 28 minutes, and the third 10kmph. (AN: I just made those up off the top of my head, idk and idc whether or not they're right.)

"What an unusual coincidence!" Alison said.

"You are in the Tunnel of Coincidences," A disembodied voice echoed. "All things here are related to one another by an extraordinary possibility."

Alison was so unnerved by this she said nothing.

A few minutes later she landed in a pile of brightly colored pairless socks with a thump.

"Socks!" Alison exclaimed, climbing out of the pile. "Why socks?"

"Because," The Disembodied Voice replied, "These are all the world's socks that have been eaten by driers and deposited down here."

"So THAT'S where my socks go! Do you mind if I look through that pile, TDV?"

"Er, why are you asking me? I'm not in charge, I just know everything." TDV answered in a confused voice.

Alison took off her own mismatched socks (1 red -and- yellow patterned, 1 blue -and- purple) and compared them to some socks in the pile. Surprisingly, the 5th sock she checked matched the blue-and-purple sock, and Alison happily exchanged the red-and-yellow sock for that one.

With new matching socks, Alison looked around the room she was in for her soccer ball, having remembered it at last. As soon as she spotted it, however, the ball grew limbs and ran out of the room. Alison gasped and raced to follow it. She burst through an open door way to arrive in...

"This is the strangest forest I've ever seen," She marveled.

AN: Where is she? What happens next? DundunDUNNN! I won't update until I get proof that someone's actually reading this, because if no one's reading there's no point.


	2. Chapter 2: Socks and Lady Gaga

Alison Lidle was walking through the strangest forest she ever saw.

The trees in this forest were planted in neat, evenly spaced rows. The ground was gray and sandy in a way that made you wonder how the trees grew at all, and there were no animals in sight. The sky was a pale lavender.

Alison walked ahead.

The first row of trees were all perfectly smooth, with exactly two branches sprouting from the ends of each branch.

" Binary trees," She thought aloud. She laughed.

The next row resembled weeping willows, but with branches made of string and origami cranes tied to the branches. They were beautiful cranes, perfectly folded out of fine paper, but when Alison tried to pull one off to take home it held fast. Disappointed, she trudged ahead, to a row of short, fat trees with socks hanging on the ends of branches like leaves.

Before she could properly examine the sock trees, a cloud of purple glitter swirled in her face to reveal a person in a fluffy, frilly dress. "I am the Crazy Outfit Fairy That Appears Without Notice. My name is Lady Gaga, but you can call me Coftawn."

"That name seems familiar to me somehow, but I can't place it..." Alison frowned as she thought.

Coftawn meanwhile was examining Alison's jeans, matching purple socks and light blue hoodie and shaking her head. "That outfit is not appropriate for wonderland. Far too normal and sane. Allow me to fix that for you."

She waved her wand, and Alison's hair was a foot longer and straighter. Her matching socks were replaced with knee high lace trimmed stockings, and she was wearing a blue dress with a pinafore over it. "What just-" Alison began, but Coftawn had already poofed away.

(AN: I know that was random but it's my story and I'll do whatever I feel like, kay?)

Extremely confused, and shivering because her hoodie was taken away, Alison decided something: She had to get out of this place.

Wonderland had a rule about it: Never go back the way you came.

Alison turned around, expecting to see the edge of the forest and the doorway beyond it, but instead she saw a lot of bleak, black trees all around her. No more colorful diversity. No more beauty. Just bare identical tree trunks against a bare gray sky. A soft song in a foreign language began to play, and even though she couldn't understand it she knew what it meant. Something about Alices and human sacrifice...

Alison screamed and ran blindly, desperate to get away from this dark, dismal, _scary _anti-wonderland.

Everything faded. Alison closed her eyes.

When she next opened them she was sitting on a train...

AN: This was a really sucky chapter. It's always like that, I start writing or drawing and then everything turns dark and scary all of a sudden... Anyway, review. Kthxbai.


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